Swooping Diablerie

The things happening around us. Can't fight against the system. It's amazing how these beaurocrats can play with your life. Look at Gurmehar and the DU issue. Do you want any more? View outside is amazing but look within and it is ....Hmmmm....rotten? Think of another word which gives that effect. People these days are so confident looking at the mirror but ....no honestly...how the fuck do you do that? Those guilt demons, don't they come and pounce on you? Forget and forgive? Keep it alive hidden under the layers. Use it to fuel the fire lit inside. One of the phases to go through compulsorily. This is the real world. That just passed was some illusion or may be something that was never meant to last.

February 20th 2017, Southern most tip of India it is. One heck of a day. Wasn't expecting this though. Well, always had a crush on this guy but then making out is an altogether different thing. Wasn't totally unexpected. Had been giving enough signs and finally this happens. What a day!! After so long!! Five days after Valentine's. Not that it matters(say that a lot..ain't I) Making it public like this on a blog..is it scandalous?? Ah..who cares. Feeling of bliss after such a long time. Still hungover it with flashes coming every now and then. Totally looking forward for a second encounter. But then, that is a distant dream i guess. This happened and then would that happen??

One of my friend is meeting her lover today. They keep fighting otherwise on phone. But these meetings seem to resolve all their differences. Sex is magical. Almost everything gets resolved between partners. How I wish even I could do so. Things between us have gone beyond sex right. Always try to hide behind those laughter and jokes I crack. However I try it still hurts. The thought that we did share a beautiful relationship and how you changed as time passed. You grew up you claim or maybe it was me. We both had our faults but can't it be forgotten and forgiven. No, I guess. Something are just not forgotten and forgiven. And now after all these years I am unable to bond with any man. Now I feel that I am just not meant to be with a man. That doesn't mean I don't miss it, I do. But can I do anything about it?

On a usual day I sit and sulk on how disaggreable me and my roommates are mainly because they are disorganised.   Suddenly the thoughts shift from here to that conversation I had with my friend on Karma. Do I believe in it. Do you get what you give? After a lot of discussion we come to a conclusion that it's best to accept whatever comes our way. Be it good or bad. Enjoy if it's good and fight and try to resolve if it's bad. In the end we all are Kaminey . I also have my own set of ideals which I would love to follow and do try to follow. But then after all I'm human and there are times when I end up breaking them.